&&.dROWN iT oUT {open}

[rainey chevalier]

&&.raineyCHEVALiER

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...first period sucked. being pregnant sucked. drinking sucked. to put it simply, rainey's life sucked ass. as she doodled in the margins of her college ruled notepaper and listened to her history teacher drone on about god knows what, rainey pictured holding a gun to her head. she pictured holding a gun to her stomach and blasting that stupid baby to smithereens. she pictured running through the school with a gun and shooting everything in sight. Of course she only pictured this happening. Actually doing it was just not going to work. First of all, as much as life sucked, Rainey honestly did not want to be dead. She didn't want to kill the baby either, or she wouldn't gotten an abortion. As for a school shooting, well, you can imagine why that scheme might have been nixed. Go ahead and call Rainey morbid, but with the hell going on inside her (for god's sake, she was a pregnant sixteen year old), she at least had good reason. Her head throbbed painfully as class droned on and on and on and on and on and on and on for the rest of eternity. That was when a sense of nausea came over her. Oh crap, oh crap, she swore inwardly. Here, of all places, oh f**k. Clamping her lips shut, Rainey squealed out a tiny cry of Bathroom! shoved her chair aside, and sprinted down the hall, her converse clapping on the marble floor. An old man wearing a suit walked by and clucked dispaprovingly but Rainey kept running. When she reached the bathroom, she threw open the nearest stall and retched away her breakfast of coffee and banana. Moaning, she grasped the top of the stall door and pulled herself to her feet, her stomach feeling like a giant balloon. Tentatively, she reached down and felt it. It was normal size still- she'd only been pregnant for about a moth but it did feel a little harder. Well, firm abs, that was great, she thought sarcastically. She made her way to the sink and groaned again when she saw her face- pale and drawn. She splashed some water on her face, trying to brighten it up and failing. Rainey gave a sigh of defeat, shoved a piece of mint gum in her mouth and left the bathroom, feeling like crap.

She walked down the hall as slowly as possible, and when she finally reached the history classroom, everything felt so d**n futile. Why the hell did she need to learn history anyway? It wasn't like she wanted to be a whatever-job-you-need-to-know-history-for. History sucked, straight up. f**k history. Rainey turned on her heel and walked away from the history classroom, feeling extremely rebellious. A rare grin crept on to her face as she walked down the hall, making her feet hit the marble as hard as possible, almost wanting someone to hear her and discover her. And then she would just run, run like hell and never, ever slow down, run away from it all and never look back. But no one did catch her, and finally, Rainey sat down against the wall outside the girl's bathroom, ready for another morning-sickness-vomit emergency. With a sigh, she pulled her iPod out of her pocket and shoved the earphones into her ears. She twiddled with the wheel for a while before settling on a song she felt like and let the loud screams of Linkin Park drown out all her troubles.